Archives for the Month of November, 2012

27 weeks

20121128-211820.jpg

I can’t believe this is the final week of my second trimester. Truly nuts. Time has gone by so fast and I couldn’t be happier. I can not wait to meet this little guy so the faster the better. But I’m definitely enjoying being pregnant and cherishing every moment.

I had an appointment with the midwife today and everything is great. I do not have gestational diabetes and she says that measuring at 29 weeks is completely normal. He’s in the 88th percentile and her response to him measuring large was that half the babies have to to be above 50% and half below. My next appointment is at 30 weeks and then after that I’ll start to go every two weeks and then things will really feel like they are about to happen.

In non baby/pregnancy news…we closed on our new home!!! We are officially moving to our amazing two bedroom, two bathroom apartment in Brooklyn! I am beyond excited to move in and start nesting.

Dear Baby M // 2.

The other day, I told your daddy I thought you were a very advanced baby. Now I’m sure that all moms think this about their children but I just had a sense that you were growing and developing faster than your weeks indicated. Every time I would receive a weekly update from babycenter.com, I would read the description and think, “well my little guy was doing all that weeks ago!” And as it turns out I may just have been right. Today, at a follow up ultrasound they told me that you are measuring at 29 weeks (and today is your 27 week pre-birthday)! Ok so there is a tiny chance this could actually be a bad thing (if I have gestational diabetes, which I’ll find out about on Wednesday) but honestly I can’t help but feel proud of you for being so big and strong. You may very well be two weeks ahead of the game and that makes me smile. I have a feeling it will continue to be these little things that make me so proud to be your mama.

Your little two week advancement might also be due to the conversations we have each morning about your birth. I tell you (usually while I’m in the shower) about how we are going to be a great team and make your entry into this world fast and positive. I also tell you that you should aim to come about two weeks early because I don’t want to have to wait to meet you once you’re fully grown in there. We also discuss how your head should be down and your feet up! Yeah, you probably think I’m a little nuts but hey that your mom…hope you’re not too embarrassed by me.

You are still rockin and rollin up a storm in there. You, my sweet little boy, move SO MUCH. I actually googled if it was possible for you to be moving TOO much, but turns out no, moving a lot is a great thing. It seems that whenever I’m not moving, you are. I wonder if this means you’re going to need constant holding and swaying once out in the world. Please let us get a little sleep if you can. But of course know that we will always be there for you to make you as happy and comfortable as possible.

Your daddy has started singing you Beatles medleys. He has a beautiful voice and although I want nothing more than for you to be who you want to be, I really do hope you inherit his voice and musical abilities. I just picture you two singing and playing together…putting on shows for me!

See you soon baby boy (maybe in 11 weeks?? or whenever you are ready)!

I love you!

Mom

 

Sunday in the city

20121118-220129.jpg

Here are some photos (of the belly) from last Sunday when we went window shopping for furniture for our new apartment. The closing on our new home in Brooklyn is tomorrow. We are beyond excited for the move and can’t wait to start setting up baby boy’s room. I’m so happy he will be coming home to this wonderful new apartment and not our tiny studio we’ve called home for the last 5.5 years!

26 weeks

20121118-201633.jpg

Hello week 26!

New developments:

I started self guided Hypnobirthing and I love it. I’ve been having trouble sleeping and more than anything listening to the tracks help me fully relax and fall asleep with ease. I probably need to practice more than I do but right now I’m so grateful to have something that helps me sleep.

Heartburn! Yeah, its unpleasant but I’m dealing with it.

So so much back pain…lower, middle and upper. It hurts everywhere. I got my first real prenatal massage on Monday, it was wonderful. They have these special supports that allow you to lay face down without squishing the belly. It definitely helped along with the stretching I do but the pain does just come back, so another unpleasantry that I’m learning to live with.

So despite the few discomforts I’m doing really well. I love being pregnant and I’m happy to take the bad with all the good. It’s wonderful how kind and generous the world is to pregnant women, I truly feel so special and I’m reminded often what an incredible thing is happening to me!

The first 17 weeks

20121118-201215.jpg

Since I didn’t start writing until week 17. I thought I would share a little about the pretty difficult first trimester. I think it can be summed up simply…nausea and vomiting. I experienced 6 weeks straight of non-stop nausea that was frequently accompanied by dry heaving and then sometimes resulted in full on vomiting. It was awful. There were many days were all I could manage to eat was a few saltines and some ginger pieces. I lost about 5 pounds. I wore sea-bands throughout the day but I’m not sure they did much. I spent a lot of time miserable on the couch because being outside in the 90 degree summer was not pleasant. One time when I thought I was doing ok, I found myself in an Argo Tea cafe bathroom puking. And since this was all happening in the first trimester, no one knows, or at least very few people. I was still not sharing the news with anyone other than family and a few close friends, so I couldn’t explain to most what I was going through and of course I wasn’t showing yet so complete strangers had no understanding or sympathy either.  And then one day around week 12 it was all over, just like that. They say women forget about the morning sickness, I’m not sure I will, but without a doubt I’d go through it all again for the next one.

The news was pretty hush hush, we told all our parents and about 6 close friends but no extended family until week 12. I wanted to be as sure as I was going to get that this little one was here to stay before shouting it from the roof tops. It was hard to keep it a secret for so long but it was also nice when we finally did tell people that we could relive the excitement all over again.

We found out really early on at exactly 4 weeks. It was a Saturday (the day before father’s day) and I woke up after Luke had gone to class with an overwhelming need to go to the bathroom and it just struck me as something a little different so I thought why not just take the test and see. Well low and behold it was positive! I was stunned (I didn’t think it would happen so fast!) and over the moon excited but then there I was alone in the apartment with no one to tell. It was a little fun to walk around the city that morning knowing I was the only one in the world who knew there was a baby growing inside me but mostly I just really really wanted to tell Luke. When he came home from school, I said, I want to show you something and presented the test with the blue plus sign. I’ll never forget his reaction and pure joy on his face and the way he lifted me up and hugged me. Of the many amazing moments in our 8 years together, it was one of the best. After that we went out to dinner to celebrate at the Meatball Shop and talked the whole time about how we were going to be having a baby.

100 days

Today marks 100 days till our due date!

25 weeks

20121113-120616.jpg

I wanted to get this picture up before week 25 was over but I’m too exhausted to write about anything. I did a makeup job for 12 hours yesterday, wasn’t able to sleep thanks to the new development of pregnancy insomnia and I just finished a 2 hour glucose screening test. I’m going to finally eat now and relax. More updates later.

Natural Child Birth

So the plan is to give birth naturally, without medication, without medical interventions. Needless to say this decision sometimes raises some eyebrows and brings with it the question “why?” I thought I should write down my reasons and my current thinking just for the sake of getting it down. But most importantly, in no way do I judge others’ decisions not to have a natural childbirth, the choice is personal and the experience is purely individual. So here is what I’m thinking, just for me.

I’m not 100% sure how it all started. I know I watched the Business of Being Born long before I was pregnant and I know that 2.5 years ago when my stepmom’s sister gave birth she did so naturally in her own home. So I knew the option existed and it appealed to me. For anyone who knows me well it’s probably actually pretty surprising that I wouldn’t be all over that epidural. I’m not particularly “natural” in any other aspect of my life. I’m not that into yoga, I don’t buy organic everything, I take Advil at the slightest sign of pain, and I’ve had a host of odd medical issues that have led me to doctor after doctor and 3 surgeries in the last 8 years. This last point being one of my main reasons actually. I’ve spent time in hospitals and I’ve had lots of medical interventions in my life. I don’t want childbirth to be in the same category. I don’t want to experience bringing my son into the world in the same environment that I had my intestine or hip surgery. I envision and want the experience to be special and I don’t want to marginalize it. My body was meant to give birth and can give birth all by itself. Childbirth, in most cases, does not need to be a medical event. Women for thousands of years have been giving birth without medicine and although there is potential for complications, a healthy mother with a normal pregnancy will 99% of the time have a normal natural childbirth without the need for any medical assistance whatsoever.

I know childbirth will be difficult and “painful.” I want to be present and participate in that process. Pain is the bodies response to something negative, it’s the bodies way of telling us something is wrong and we need to address it. But with childbirth, there isn’t anything wrong and the body isn’t having a fight or flight response. Instead this “pain” everyone talks about is actually just the body letting the mother know the progress of labor. So in actuality, childbirth pain isn’t the same kind of pain that we are used to. We shouldn’t try to fix it but instead respond to it and realize our bodies are trying to indicate the stages and progress of labor. I believe if I can remind myself of this throughout labor the experience will not be thought of as painful.

I think that by having a natural childbirth I will see the event as more positive than if I don’t. I will experience a higher level of elation and accomplishment upon the completion of the birthing process. Basically, the harder the journey the bigger the payoff. I want that. I want to feel like a warrior.

Without drugs, I’ll know when to push and I have less of a chance of tearing. Without drugs, the bonding experience with my son with be greater. Without drugs, there is less of a chance of needing a c-section. Without drugs, I’ll be ensuring that my body can do what it needs to do to bring my baby into the world happy and health.

I want Luke to be able to be a big part of childbirth. I want him to have a role and be an active participant. To be able to feel his own accomplishment from the process. If I’m strapped to a bed, feeling no pain, there isn’t much for him to do and he would feel useless. With a natural childbirth, I will need help, guidance, love and comfort from him throughout. He gets to be, perhaps not equally, but at least very involved. He has his own books he’s been reading to prepare and when we take our Bradley method classes, his role will be essential.

And we are preparing, as much as any two people can prepare for something they truly have no idea about and for something that is known to be completely unpredictable. We both have read our fair share of books on natural childbirth, we’ve hired a Doula (which has been proven to improve a woman’s chances of completing a natural birth), we will be taking Bradley method classes (3 hours a week for 8 weeks!), we’ve watched videos of natural childbirth, and I have my self guided Hypnobirthing cds on my iphone.

So that’s my thinking and that’s the plan. I hope it all goes how I envision. But I know there is no way to predict what will happen and I need to keep an open mind to potentially things going awry or changing. I am very grateful that modern medicine exists should I need it at any point during childbirth. I know ultimately all that matters is a happy healthy baby but I still also believe that the process of getting there is a pretty important to me as well.

 

24 weeks

20121107-133100.jpg

Getting pretty big over here. The bump has officially moved me over to maternity clothing only. Originally, I thought I’d be fine just wearing some of my bigger non-maternity shirts throughout the pregnancy but that is definitely not the case. There is a reason maternity clothes exist, they are more comfortable and they are cut specifically for the bowling ball living under your shirt. My growing bump is also making it difficult to bend too far over and putting on shoes is slowly becoming the most annoying part of leaving the apartment. Baby is still super active and strong, moving around constantly and morphing my belly into all sorts of funny shapes. I can feel his kicks as high as about an inch above my belly button. And speaking of belly button, mine is close to being completely flat with my belly and its so interesting to see and touch the fresh skin that has never been so exposed before.

On the non-physical side of things, I seem to be an emotional wreck recently. In the early stages of pregnancy I read about the roller coster of emotions that women go through but for me that was never the case. I was perfectly even-keeled but these days I seem to be going through what I missed out on in those first few months. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve cried harder than I’ve cried since I was 11 years old finding out my parents were getting a divorce. I’m having straight up melt downs with uncontrollable crying that last for a good 10-15 minutes. The kind of crying that turns my face red and blotchy and leaves me trying to catch my breath. Granted I’m crying over things that are pretty legit but I don’t think I’d be responding in such a way if I wasn’t pregnant. I know I could handle the stress of a difficult apartment closing that leaves me worrying if we will lose our deposit and have no place to live other than our tiny studio apartment when the baby comes, without excessive sobbing if I wasn’t pregnant. I certainly would have bounced back much quicker after learning that I had to cancel a party for 100 people I’d been planning for months and spent a good amount of money and creativity on. And I’ve dealt with drama with my in-laws many times over the years without a melt down. But I guess everything just seems BIGGER, much bigger, beyond serious and real in a way I’ve never experienced before. Every time something goes wrong, I think about how its not just going wrong for me but for this little baby growing inside me as well. I can’t bring him into a perfect world and I know even if I could, a perfect world would make him incredibly boring and unmotivated but there is that part of me that wishes I could keep him from any sadness. Maybe that’s why it seems so big because I’m trying to take on not only my own feelings but his as well, maybe if I take it all on he won’t have to worry. Or maybe its just that I feel more deeply because I see the world in a new way, this little guy has given me a third eye, a beyond ordinary perception only known to mothers. And then again maybe its just the hormones.

23 weeks (missing photo)

20121105-120718.jpg

Sadly, there is no photo from week 23, thanks to Hurricane Sandy. During most of week 23 we were refugees staying at Luke’s dad’s apartment because the power went out for all of lower Manhattan. It went out Monday night and didn’t return till Friday evening. Even now, we still have no hot water, heat or Internet. But of course, Sandy cause a lot more devastation around the tri-state area and all in all we were very lucky. It was a difficult week being away from home but now we are back and onto week 24! (photo in a day or two).

We also were not able to have Luke’s big 30th birthday party due to the storm. We were however left with one giant cake meant for 100 people and happily before the lights went out some friends came over to help us eat as much of it as we could. So here is one picture of me right at the beginning of week 23 with a HUGE piece of cake.

20121105-121632.jpg