Becoming a mother

Before being pregnant, I’d always thought that one wasn’t a mother until she had a child. But I’ve come to learn that the transition into motherhood start well before that special day. I guess it seems pretty silly to think that magically you’re a mom on the day you give birth because in reality from the moment I found out I was pregnant I started to feel like a mom.

I think about my child every single moment of the day. Well, almost every moment, there have been a few times right when I wake up that I forget I’m pregnant but by the time I stand up I remember. I think about what he’s feeling. Are the pants I’m still trying to wear too tight for him? Does he like when we play music for him? I think a lot about if he is healthy. Since I have a cold, does he feel sick at all too? Are you growing big and strong in there? I think about the food he’s eating. Am I giving him enough iron, calcium, vitamins?

Food is a big one. In a lot of ways, I think we’ve come to associate feeding our children well as a way to show love and I completely understand that now. When I eat something really good for him (and of course me too), I feel like I’ve been a really good mom. I was literally ecstatic this afternoon while eating homemade chicken soup. And then when I eat a bag a cookies, well I feel happy, but part of me also knows I haven’t done my son any favors. Food also comes into play through the sacrifices I’m learning to make as a mom. My number one goal is too keep my baby safe and if that means no soft cheeses or sushi or alcohol or even deli meats, then so be it. I would give up anything to ensure that he is ok.

But at the same time, I’ve also come to realize that in order to be a good mom, I also have to take care of myself and my sanity. I need to still be me and enjoy life so that I can be the best person that my baby needs me to be. Thinking about him and sacrificing for him are important things to do but if it happens at the cost of my own needs as a person then I won’t be any good as a mom anyway. So every once in a while because it makes me feel special, I’ll have a glass of wine.

Pregnancy has been an invaluable time to prepare for the crazy journey of being a mom to this baby that will be one day be on the outside of my uterus.  My life and mindset have already change drastically in the past 5 months. I can’t even imagine the further changes to come, but if the happiness I’ve felt so far is any indication, I’m really really looking forward to it.

Oh, and of course there are about a million more things to being a mom, these are just some thoughts I’ve been having recently.


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One Response to “Becoming a mother”

  1. Courtnei Evans writes:

    I especially love this picture.

    It’s amazing how concerned we can be for others. Reading your concern for your son is magnificient.

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